new to Snackcar, first in a series called "Shit Nobody Really Likes All That Much"

ITEM#1 THE CLASH

Found myself browsing through a book of CD’s burned for me by various friends the other day and noted that I had accumulated no less than 3 copies of the rumored classic London Calling by the Clash, aka “the only band that matters.” Why 3 copies? Because I’ve developed the admittedly foolish habit of letting it slip in mixed (and often mastered company) that I really don’t like The Clash. This is met with what can only be called flaming incredulity. They hiss, they jibe, they stomp. I am assailed with inquiries into my sanity, my taste level, my intelligence, even, rather unkindly, the circumstances surrounding my birth. Somehow, I withstand the assault and calmly state that I am not, in fact, a crazy mongoloid bastard. I simply find their music a touch boring. And then I prepare for the usual, ‘you have to listen to London Calling.’ When I again state that I have tried to listen but that it just didn’t touch me, they force a copy into my hands. So I go home and try again with the same result.

I feel as though I’ve let my friends down, disappointed them with my inability to force myself into a state of blissful admiration for music that fails to hold my ear. Those friends, those self-avowed, if I may coin a phrase, had expanded my rather meager range and turned me on to all of the bands guys who aren’t getting regular sex have the time to check out. For me, it’s a bit of Top 40 radio after a good session of the ole slap and tickle but that’s a story for another time. One day as I tried for the sixth or seventh time not to fast forward through “Jimmy Jazz” or “Hateful” it occurred to me, I’d listened to hundreds of hours of music with these chaps and never once did we listen to The Clash. Even when they rose to meet my challenge by burning a CD, they didn’t rush to the stereo to put the album on, as they had done with other bands.

Could it be that no one really listens to the Clash? No, I told myself, you’re mad.

So like a good social scientist, I began to ask everyone who I met and spoke with at all about music about the Clash. Again and again, I was told they were great, stupendous, “the only band that matters.” When I inquired after their listening habits regarding the band, the Clasholytes (is it catching on yet?) were much more evasive. Answers ranged from ‘not for awhile but I used to listen to them all the time in high school’ (poor lying bastard, ever notice how much stuff people claim they used to do in high school as a way of explaining their refusal to do something in the present?) to the deliciously vague ‘a couple of months ago.’ No one it seemed had just listened to them in the car on the ride over to wherever we were or had spent all last night listening to The Clash as they bathed in patchouli or had partied with all of their Clash friends at an all night Clashfest anytime in the recent past. And I surveyed people far and wide, though truth be told I don’t know too many old timey punk rockers so I may have missed the proper demographic entirely. (Who wants to hang around with a punch of tattooed delusionals anyway?) Still, it’s odd. I invite you to try it on your music friends. Ask them if they like the Clash. I’m guessing they’ll say yes. Then ask them when was the last time they listened to the Clash. If my study is any indication, their answers will be as vague as the band’s appeal.